Title: The Libertine
Author: sweet_heloise 
Pairings: Chuck/Blair
Rating: R
Setting: Victorian Era, England
Summary: When they were thirteen, everything changed. She was Lady Blair Waldorf (pristine, regal, perfect). Meanwhile, Chuck had become something of a...libertine.

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Chapter 5

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“Does Eric know?”

She was sitting on one of the white chairs outside, bathing under the sunlight when he came up behind her. She wasn’t expecting him and, on instinct, her hand hovered over her stomach protectively before letting it drop back by her side.

“Know what?” Serena asked, craning her head to look at him.

Her step-brother sat on the chair next to her and looked out at the sprawling gardens across from them. A small patch in the gardens lay bare – tilled to make room for Blair’s hydrangeas. He focused on the pink roses growing next to the patch of dirt – his mother’s roses.

They were quiet for a few minutes, content in the silence and enjoying the atmosphere. And then Chuck was clearing his throat, drawing her attention to him once more.

“You know, I was sitting right here when my father told me about his plans to marry Lily van der Woodsen,” he started.

It had been a day like any other except of course Chuck had always been one step ahead of the curve. He had known about his father’s courtship of Mrs. Van der Woodsen – he’d known before Serena and Eric even cared to realize.

Still, it took him by surprise.

“I remember it so well,” he continued. “And when she accepted…” His voice shook and he paused, swallowing the tightness in his throat. “I swear I wasn’t expecting a family.”

“Chuck…”

She looked at her brother – really looked at him – like she was seeing him for the first time. He truly had changed, she thought to herself. Was it the wisdom that naturally came with age? Was it his engagement to Blair? Was it his father’s influence? Or had he always been like this – just hidden away behind the alcohol?

Chuck sighed, adjusting the collar of his shirt. Bass men were unfeeling, unemotional – bastards some would call them. They didn’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. Rather they tucked it away – deep where no one would see. And having been raised a Bass, no one had taught him how to feel. Chuck had to learn by example – learn from watching Blair Waldorf.

“I’ve been...alone for so long,” he admitted. “I never knew my mother. And you know as well as I that my father isn’t the most affectionate of men.” A bitter smile crossed his face. “I never…expected any of that to change. I was living like a heathen but…at least I was content – I thought I was anyhow. And then your mother married my father.”

Serena nodded, tears brimming at the corner of her eyes. “It was the summer we were sixteen.”

“I thought the only things I needed were money, the nameless women who brought me pleasure, and Nathaniel Archibald – my friend. But that wasn’t true.” His voice dropped above a whisper. “I fell in love with Blair that year. But not only that – I fell in love with my new family. The engagement – it changed my life. Lily became the mother I never had – for a short while anyway. And you and Eric – I came to love you like real siblings.”

“And we are.” Her hand shook as she moved a wayward strand of hair from her face. “Eric and I feel the same way about you and Bartholomew.”

He wasn’t looking at her, not quite, but he nodded anyway. “My father loves you like a daughter and he would do anything to protect his family – like I would do anything to protect my family. You, Eric, and Blair are my whole world right now.”

“I feel the same way,” she agreed.

“Which is why I need you to be honest with me now.”

“What?” She shook her head. Try as she might, she couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. Or perhaps the answer was too obvious and she didn’t want to figure it out... “Chuck, what are you talking about?” she asked softly.

“Blair told me – last night.”

And there was silence. His words were like an anvil dropping – crushing them, crushing her. And suddenly it became all the more apparent to her. But he waited. He waited for her to say something because he knew that eventually she would have to say something. She couldn’t run away this time. Chuck was far too big of an opponent.

“You know,” she whispered. She said it so quietly – not a question but a statement.

That drumming silence – it was vibrating in Chuck’s head. And he too became quiet. “Tell me the truth, Serena.”

“Truth?” she spit out. Her words cut, sliced through the quiet. “What truth is there? I’m pregnant, Chuck. That’s all there is to it. I’m pregnant and I’m unwed…” Her voice shook as she tried to hold back tears and maintain that semblance of anger. “That’s all there is.”

“Serena…”

“What do you want from me, Chuck?” she snapped. “I can’t believe Blair told you – she told you even though I told her not to. Marrying you must have ruined her because the Blair I knew could keep secrets. The Blair I knew, I could trust!”

“You’re not mad at Blair and you’re not mad because of that. You know I would have found out eventually.”

“Then what?!” she screamed. “What do you want?!”

He took a deep breath, trying to retain some level of calm. “I want you to trust me. I want you to tell me everything.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Don’t play dumb – not now, not here. If you truly think of me as your brother then you’ll be honest with me –”

“Or what, Chuck? You’ll throw me out? Abandon me? What?”

“I would never abandon you.”

“Then what?”

“The summer we were sixteen,” he started. “The summer our parent’s wed…I saw you with Nathaniel.”

Another blow –

Serena was struck speechless. She was shaking this time, truly shaking – from anger or fear or dread, she didn’t know. Her hands were trembling and she couldn’t look away from Chuck. He knew. He knew everything – all this time. “What?”

“After Bart and Lily’s wedding – I saw you with him. It was mere coincidence at the time. Blair wasn’t feeling well so Nathaniel asked me to take her to her room. I asked him why he couldn’t do it himself but he was vague and said he needed to do something for his father. So I did what he asked and when I came down to look for him, I found you.”

“All this time…”

He ignored her – continuing on as if his step-sister’s eyes weren’t brimming with tears, as if she wasn’t shaking uncontrollably. “But it didn’t matter when I saw him the next morning. He said he was going to marry Blair anyway – fulfill his parent’s wishes. I convinced him otherwise.”

“You –”

“He didn’t know that you’d gone to America. But I knew.”

“You didn’t tell him.”

“I waited for him to break off his engagement. Then he told his parents that he was planning on marrying you instead. But by then it was too late. You’d already gone.”

“He –” She licked her lips, trying to form a coherent thought.

“Nathaniel was devastated – at first. But then he convinced himself that he’d find you and bring you back. He asked where you were, assuming you were somewhere in England. But then Lily told him you’d gone to America.”

“It was the farthest place I could think of,” she admitted in a whisper.

“He put off finding you for a while,” Chuck continued. “He was…upset – heartbroken. And by then, Blair had become engaged to me.”

He looked at her then.

“Then all of a sudden he made plans to leave. He told me he was going to America – to see you.”

“Does Blair…” Serena licked her lips, swallowing tightly. “Does she know?”

He shook his head. “I was never planning on telling her.”

She stood up on shaky legs, holding onto the wall behind her for support. “Good – that’s good. She can’t…she can’t know, Chuck. She just can’t.”

Chuck only nodded. Part of him liked to think it wouldn’t change anything with Blair, but he knew better than that. The sixteen year old girl he once knew had been madly, deeply in love with Nathaniel Archibald. And if she ever found out the truth…

She wouldn’t, though.

She couldn’t.

He didn’t look up when Serena left.

His sister was quiet except for the sound of her breathing. It was happening so fast, she thought to herself. Of course she was shaking. Of course her heart was pounding. And he was calm – eerily calm. And when he heard her leave – heard her footsteps disappear into the house – it still didn’t faze him.

It never did with Bass men.

---

“A ball?”

“A ball.”

Blair giggled, clasping her hands together excitedly. She ushered the young maid to follow her into the drawing room, closing the doors behind them when she entered.

“I’m a countess now, Jenny,” Blair said with an air of superiority. “And I have yet to throw a lavish party that signifies my new position in society.” She sighed. “Oh, it’ll be wonderful! We’ll invite only the best families. There will have to be a lot of decorating – that’s where you come in, of course.”

“That’s sounds wonderful, my lady,” Jenny smiled.

“Of course – it is my idea. And if it makes Lord Westbury happy then all the better, don’t you think? He needs this. We need this. Oh! And we’ll need to tailor two new dresses for the occasion. Remember to get Miss Van der Woodsen’s measurements later.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh! It’s going to be splendid!” Blair clasped her hands together, smiling. A thought occurred to her then and her smile quickly turned into a frown. “Oh, but I suppose I’ll have to invite my mother. She’ll throw a fit otherwise.” She put a finger to her lips in contemplation. “We’ll let her know at the last minute – I don’t want her meddling.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jenny nodded, following her mistress around the room – frantically trying to keep up. “Um, ma’am? If I may ask something?”

“Yes, Jenny?” Blair asked, her mind preoccupied.

“Well, I was just wondering…that is – well, it sounds so spectacular. I’m sure my mistress would throw a beautiful ball and I was just wondering…if I may attend?”

Blair stopped abruptly and Jenny felt a flush rise up her neck – all the way to her face. The brunette turned around, a pitying look on her face. “Jenny, you’re a maid. What would the guests think?” With that, she turned her back to the younger girl and continued where she left off – as if the question had never been raised.

“And we’ll have to –”

“But, my lady…” Jenny almost winced, realizing she had interrupted her superior. The past week, however, Jenny had gotten to know Lady Westbury better. They’d become something akin of…friends, but not quite – which is why she tried to stop herself. But it was too late because she was already on a roll – she couldn’t let the opportunity pass. “I could pretend to be someone else for the night. Perhaps if I wore a disguise, no one would have to know my identity and –”

“That’s brilliant, Jenny! A disguise!” Blair giggled and spun around the room. “We’ll throw a masked ball. We’ll have it written on the invitations – that everyone must bring a mask. The Bass’ are known for their mystique, after all. It would be perfect.”

“Then I can go?” the younger girl asked hopefully.

Blair frowned and Jenny recognized that pitying look on her face that emerged once more. “The answer is no, Jenny.”

The girl nodded understandingly, despite the dull ache in her heart and the fact that no she didn’t understand at all. “Yes, ma’am.”

But it wasn’t yes, ma’am to Jenny. Quite frankly, she was getting tired of all the yes, ma’am’s and yes, my lady’s. Just once in her life – just once – she wanted something magical to happen. She wanted something magical to happen to her. It was girls like Blair Waldorf – spoiled rotten by their non-absentee mothers and groomed for perfection all their lives – who got the happily ever after’s. Never girls like Jenny. Never Jenny.

And she accepted it – always. She accepted it when her mother left. She accepted it when her father left with promises of a future they would never have.

“But you can help me prepare,” Blair told her softly. “You seem to be full of good ideas. It’s a useful trait to have, Jenny.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she responded – because, quite frankly, there was nothing else to say on the matter.

Lady Westbury’s mind was made up.

---

“Chuck Bass, what are you doing out here?”

He was sitting on the chaise outside, staring listlessly at the clouds floating up above. “Nothing.”

In Blair Waldorf’s perfect world, everything was fine. But this was Chuck Bass and his world was different – different because he would make it not fine and then he would sit back and watch the pieces crumble all around him. And he would pretend like he was enjoying it.

“Well then,” his wife started. “Prepare to hear the most brilliant idea.” She announced it like she was queen, announcing her royal proclamation for the day. She sat down on the chaise, placing her hand delicately on his arm. “We’re throwing a ball.”

“A ball?” he asked, lips quirking in amusement.

“And not just any ball – a masked ball.”

“A costume party?”

“I suppose you could say that.”

She frowned when she saw that he wasn’t nearly as enthused or interested as she thought he would be. He had that faraway look in his eyes like he wasn’t really seeing her or hearing what she was saying. Sighing, she squeezed his arm.

“What’s bothering you?” she asked in a tiny voice.

“I’m fine,” he replied, not all that convincingly.

She looked down. “Is it Serena?”

When he didn’t reply, she pulled her hand away.

“Fine,” she huffed. “We won’t talk about it. But if you’re going to look so gloomy, don’t do it our here by yourself. I like you much better smiling – or even smirking. I’ll take smirking any day over that frown you’ve got on right now.”

He chuckled lightly. “You wish to please me, Mrs. Bass?”

“I want you to be happy.”

“Then I can think of,” his hand trailed up her thigh – over her dress, “a number of different ways you can…satisfy me.”

Blair gasped, pushing Chuck’s hand away. “That is highly inappropriate behavior, Mr. Bass.”

“You weren’t complaining last night,” he whispered. “In fact, I remember the distinct sound of you purring in my ear over and over…”

She blushed light red. “I did not!”

“We both know you did.”

“Well,” she huffed. “I wasn’t the only one making purring noises, was I?”

He only smirked. “No, I very much enjoyed our little dalliance in the bedroom. And I wouldn’t be opposed to recreating it right here – especially when I put my –”

“Chuck!” she gasped, interrupting him midsentence.

He chuckled lightly before leaning back in his seat. “This masked ball sounds like a terrific idea. Considering it has been a week since the wedding – we’ll need something to draw people’s attention…”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” she agreed. “It’ll be our first society event as husband and wife.”

Smiling, he brought her hand to his lips and lightly kissed the knuckles. “Yes – husband and wife.”

She only rolled her eyes, feigning indifference, and stood up – pulling him up with her. “Come, Lord Westbury,” she said. “We have a lot of planning to do.”

Smirking, he followed her into the house.

---

The trip to Windlemere had taken longer than they had expected. They had even been forced to stop at a small, dubious-looking inn to rest over night before continuing on their way. Then when they had arrived that morning, Nate had told Vanessa to stay in the car with Daniel while he met his parents and…sorted things out.

“You want to leave me in the car alone with him?” she had hissed.

Nate only shrugged. “He seems like a nice fellow. He hasn’t tried to kill us, has he?”

“I suppose not…”

“Good. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

But it had taken longer than “a few minutes”. It had been two hours in fact – two hours of Daniel asking questions about America and Vanessa regaling him with stories (some make-believe and some not).

And Nathaniel was still inside – doing who knows what. She just hoped his parents hadn’t killed him. Because she had come to agree with Nate over those two hours – their driver…wasn’t half-bad.

Daniel was an interesting fellow, Vanessa thought to herself. The young driver had told them on the car ride over to Windlemere that he was a freelance reporter for The London Gazette, a popular newspaper circulating all over Europe. He had a younger sister who worked as a maid in the London countryside and a musician father who lived in America. He never mentioned a mother, though, and Vanessa thought that was odd.

Daniel Humphrey was well-read, too. The passenger seat was stacked with newspapers, journals, and various books. She recognized some of the covers and when he found her looking, he grabbed a copy.

“My sister loves Alice in Wonderland – anything with fantasy, really,” he told her. “I’m partial to Charles Dickens, myself. He’s written the most amazing literature I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. What about you? Do you have a favorite author – or just a novel, perhaps?”

Vanessa squirmed in her seat, looking out the window at the expansive Vanderbilt estate so she’d have an excuse not to look at him. How was she supposed to respond to his question when the truth was that she couldn’t read – that she had never been taught? Her mother was a practical woman and raised Vanessa and her sister to be practical girls. There were more important things than reading, according to Gabriela Abrams, like survival for instance. And Vanessa had managed to survive quite well without reading – so well, in fact, that not even Nathaniel knew about her little shortcoming. And they had spent months traveling together – braving some of the most dangerous situations.

She sighed, biting her lip.

“Jane Austen,” she told him.

“Oh, so you’re a romantic are you?” he prodded, his lips quirking into a smile.

“Not exactly,” she muttered.

“Which of her novels do you like best?”

“Well…”

“A friend gave me his copy of Pride and Prejudice the other day. It was quite –”

“Daniel,” she interrupted suddenly. “You’re one of those honest, working types, right?” she asked him.

“I suppose so.” He chuckled – although he didn’t know what that had anything to do with the topic at hand…

“Then, I trust you won’t tell Mr. Archibald if I let you in on a little secret?”

“I suppose – yes.”

“Well…the truth is I can’t read.” She looked down at her tattered shoes. “There, I said it. And I don’t know how you’re going to react so I’m not going to look at you right away. But I want you to know that I’m an honest, working-type – just like you. And that just because I’m…illiterate doesn’t mean I’m stupid. I’m actually quite smart. And I’m an American, as you already well know so –”

“Miss Abrams,” he interrupted. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

She looked up, meeting his gaze. “I don’t?”

He shook his head. “No one at the factory knew how to read. Heck, my father doesn’t know how to read anything but music – to this very day.”

“He…doesn’t?”

He shook his head. “No. But that doesn’t mean I love him any less.”

She breathed out a sigh. “Good. I was a little worried there. You were starting to come off as one of those pseudo-intellectual, nose-in-the-air types.

“Nose-in-the-air?” His lips quirked at the phrase. Miss Abrams sure had a way with words.

“Just don’t tell Mr. Archibald, alright? I’m not sure what he would think of me.”

“He seems like a nice man – and if he’s anything like he seems then he’ll know how clever you are – cleverer than me, I’d imagine.”

“Thank you,” she grinned, flattered at the compliment. “But it’s…complicated between Mr. Archibald and me.”

“Say, I was wondering about that – and I bloody well couldn’t figure it out – but how’d you two meet anyway?”

She laughed then. “We look strange don’t we – a poor American girl and a rich Englishman?”

“A bit,” he admitted sheepishly.

“We met in New York. He was looking for someone – a woman. I happened to know her – met her a while ago actually – so I helped him find her.”

“But…if Mr. Archibald was looking for a woman in America, what’s he doing here in England? And why did he bring you?”

“That’s where the story gets complicated, Mr. Humphrey.”

“You’re very interesting people, you know?” Dan shook his head, the hint of a smile on his face.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“I suppose after today I won’t ever see you again?”

“If you’re lucky then perhaps one day you will,” she teased.

“Yeah…”

There came an awkward silence then – neither of them knowing what to say next. It seemed to be ‘goodbye forever’ – an ‘au revoir’ as the French said – for the two of them. Not that Vanessa was upset – she hardly knew him. Not to mention she had assumed he could be a murderer – her murderer. Still, Dan was a nice man – and refreshingly different from the men she knew back in New York.

“I could teach you to read, you know,” he offered, breaking the quiet. “I’m a pretty good teacher. My father never wanted to learn but if you wanted to – that is, if you’d like, you can come by my apartment. Or I could swing by…wherever you’re at?”

“Maybe – I’ll have to think about it.” She tried to hide the grin on her face. “I can’t pay you, you know.”

“That’s alright. Your company will be enough for me.”

“And I’m a slow learner.”

“My sister tends to say that a lot about me.”

She laughed then, shaking her head. “You’re a peculiar man, Daniel Humphrey. And you have a very odd face.”

“Odd?”

“Yes, but I rather like it. And I accept your proposal.” She stuck her hand out.

“It’s a deal, then.” And they shook on it.

Chapter Six